Air Horns, the New Spring Accessory! No, Really.

It looks like Spring around here with rich purples and luscious pinks of Japanese Magnolias blossoming. Brilliant yellow daffodils bobbing atop stiff green stems. Birds dip and flutter as they busily gather materials for nest building. All is color, and fragrance, and light, each the budding promise of new life.

But there’s another side of Spring. A pervasive dark side that gets down and dirty. Think about it. All that new life has to come from somewhere. Or should I say ‘some how’? And sometimes it reaches out and taps you right on the shoulder. Or pecks the crap out of you.

Nature procreates on a schedule, no doubt. But subtle nuances can skew that schedule. Food supply, for one. And a gated community surrounding a private lake can be a bonanza in the world of water fowl. All those oblivious individuals luring majestic Canadian Geese by feeding them from their docks. Children tossing bread crumbs to families of Mallard ducks along reed-laced banks. And for most of the year it’s a lovely shared experience.

But when the horny bug bites . . . .

One g-son is a fishing fool. He’d rather buy lures or tackle than eat. (But he hits my door and heads straight for the kitchen, so he’s in no danger of starving.) He gets up before dawn to fish from his favorite pier on the lake. An older retired gentleman usually launches his small flatboat around the same time, and they’ve struck up a fishing friendship.

Excuse this bit of back story for edification. Canadian geese stand three feet tall, and are typically 12 to 14 pound birds. Please keep in mind these birds have been fed a steady diet of the finest commercial feed available, guaranteed to encourage maximum growth. Result? These beasts in this tale are probably around 20 pounds apiece. They’re very territorial, too.

Mr. R, out in his boat, let it drift where the wind would push it, enjoying the way the sun glittered off the spoon on his lure when he cast it. He drifted close to a reed bed. A few Canadian geese swan toward his boat. Not wanting to disturb them, he started his almost soundless electric trolling motor and moved to the middle of the lake. The geese floated back to their reedy hideout. The same thing happened the next day, only the geese were a little more aggressive. Once near the boat they beat their wings, rising partly from the water, and hissing. Mr. R hummed back to the center of the lake.

But last week everything changed. Tyler, standing on the end of the pier, saw it all. Said he couldn’t decide if it was more like a horror movie or a comedy. Those geese didn’t even wait for Mr. R to get close. As soon as he drifted toward the reed bed, they converged on his low sided boat en mass.

“Dang, Maw!” g-son exclaimed. “I didn’t know geese could climb! Two of them were in the boat before Mr. R knew what was happening! He had his hat off flailing away, but those geese were all over him. They’d get hold of a piece of skin in their beaks, and I could see it stretching from the bank!” He tried really hard not to laugh in the re-telling. “He’d grab a goose and throw it out of the boat, and two more would take its place. He got the motor started and was trying to get away, but Maw, you know trolling motors aren’t fast. The whole time he was headed to shore he was under attack. One minute he was hunched down, hand on the throttle and headed in, the next he was chucking geese into the lake. He was slam-dunking them, too, Maw! Ever see a goose cannon ball?” Tyler started laughing in earnest then. “Once the boat was going in circles because Mr. R had a goose around the neck with both hands, shaking hell out of him, and it was still biting him! Some of the others took to the air, circling the boat and kamikaze-ing him every chance they got. I felt bad for the man, but there was nothing I could do.”

Mr. R finally made it to the pier, harried and hatless, where Tyler caught the rope he tossed him. “Maw.” Tyler cocked his chin to his chest, fingers dancing over his face. “He had huge purple welts all over him. His cheeks, his nose, his chin, his neck. One eyebrow was even lumped up. Everywhere a goose grabbed hold and twisted that snake-like neck it’d raised a blood blister on him.”

Seems Mr. R went out the next morning with a tennis racket. I got the low down he still had to tuck tail and run, humming in under full attack at the whopping speed of half-a-mile-an-hour.

Tyler believed himself safe since he was on the dock. Surprise. The Mallards decided to nest under the pier. He’d walked to the end of it before daylight, so they weren’t up yet. As soon as they started swimming around, Tyler was on the receiving end of their aerial attack. “They hit you and peck you, and try to land on your head,” he complained indignantly. “Thought the one that hooked his toenails in the back of my shirt and kept beating me in the head with his wings was going to knock me into the water!” That’s when he remembered something in his fishing kit.

He spends time year round in their hunting club. When nothing’s in season, they fish there or use it for four-wheeling. There are some impressive bogs, and occasionally someone gets stuck while playing. It’s such a large property they needed a way to signal for help. Problem is, being a hunting club, the usual signal of firing a gun doesn’t garner much attention. Their solution?

Air horns. The even developed a code to signal a situation’s degree of severity. Out of gas. Stuck and need a tow. Stuck and need another four-wheeler with a wench. Or damn-I-sunk-it- somebody-head-out-here-with-a-pick-up-to-snatch-me-out! They even have an emergency signal in case someone gets hurt or lost.

Anyway, Tyler said he wound up belly-crawling across the dock, watching Mr. R run toward him, tennis racket in hand, as ducks repeatedly dive-bombed him. Finally managed to grope in his pack. Rolled over and blasted the air horn in the face of the duck zooming in on him. Scared the hell out of the duck. Said the back-wash from his wings as he back pedaled to get away threw feathers everywhere and blew Tyler’s hat off. Turned out sounding the air horn every time they dove repelled them. Mr. R gave him a grin and a thumbs up.

Fishing has returned to the solitary enjoyment it once was.

Not so sure how the neighbors feel about daylight breaking now. Must be a tad difficult to sleep through the blare of air horns sounding off, on and around the lake. But I bet they’re sure glad mating season doesn’t last forever! Honk! Honk!

Good writing, folks!
~Runere~

Visit at www.RunereMcLain.com Friend her on Facebook at Runere McLain  Follow her on Twitter@RunereMcLain

A Wetsday Reassessment

I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. I’d like to say that’s because it hardly ever happens, but the truth is, I’ve just had lots of practice and I’ve built up an immunity to the whole process. And today, kids, I am here to say that I made a mistake, and I’m gonna rectify it.

See, our guest of the day was one of those rare people who was blessed with it all — looks, family connections, wealth, and a whole wagonload of talent. He first caught my attention in 1992, when he was simply amazing in the title role in CHAPLIN, deservedly nominated for an Oscar.

But he seemed determined to throw it all away, spiraling down and out in a haze of drug charges, ill-fated attempts at rehab, and roles that were frankly unworthy of his talent when not impaired. He couldn’t even hold onto a supporting role in one of my least-favorite TV shows of all-time, ALLY MCBEAL. He was case as a love interest for Calista Flockhart (a truly weird-looking stick insect, BTW), but after getting two drug arrests in short order, the character was written out. I counted Mr. Downey as a lost cause. He once had potential, but he was not worth watching anymore.

But lately, my DDs have been on an Iron Man and Sherlock Holmes kick, and I’ve watched the new, reinvented and sober Mr. Downey with surprise. All the wit, charm, and acting skills that were so evident in Chaplin are back in full force. But this time Mr. Downey has more mature air, that of a man who has taken his falls, learned his lesson, and come back with new wisdom and insight. And kids, if that ain’t sexy, I don’t know what is!

I understand that Mr. Downey gives the credit for his recovery and return to the top of Hollywood’s A-list to his wife, Susan Downey. Kind of cute story — they met on the set of Gothika, where she worked with the producer. She turned him down, not once but twice, before agreeing to go out with him, as “he’s an actor; I have a real job.” But he ended up proposing to her the night before her 30th birthday, and they’ve been together ever since.

I have a friend (yes, I really do!) who has written a book which Mr. Downey has optioned for a movie, and he reports that, having had dinner with Robert and Susan, they are just as real and down-to-earth as one could hope for. They were especially excited when my friend met them, as they had just found out that they are having their first child (a boy, due in February.)

So, I humbly eat my serving of crow. I was completely mistaken about Robert Downey, Jr.

I mean, after all, isn’t “the wealthy rake from a good family who tries to throw his life away in dissipation and wild living til he is redeemed by the love of a good woman (who is not in her first blush of youth), then lives happily ever after surrounded by family” just about the most beloved trope of romance? Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the modern day version of the quintessential Regency hero and heroine: Mr. and Mrs. Robert Downey, Jr.!

Rawhide Angel

Hello everyone!! So I haven’t started off the New Year here in a good way. I admit I have forgotten a great number of blogs lately. Its appauling to be sure however I beg your forgivness as I get ready for a new hot cowboy release! That’s right! On 1/27 my last and in my opiniom best book in my Built Cowirl Tough series is being released. I admit up front this book took forever to write. I think I just wasn’t ready to let go of these characters just yet. In the end, I did. And I’m so happy with everything, right down to the cover.

My fabulous editor actually designed my cover. Have I ever mentioned I love my editor, Diana Carlile! She is the best.

I leave you with the blurb and a chance to win the first two books in this series. Simply tell me who your favorite movie cowboy of all time is and why he sticks with you.

With her father’s gambling debts about to ruin the family ranch, Saige Thomely is determined to do whatever or whomever it takes to cover the debts. Unfortunately for her, one man is a sure bet, the one cowboy she’s tried to ignore for six months. The same cowboy who makes her body and heart flame to life with each look. Saige is prepared to offer herself in exchange for the money to cover the debts, but what she’s not prepared for is losing her damaged heart to another cowboy.

Night after night, for half a year, Chet Haskins has dreamed of having the blonde and sexy as sin Saige Thomely in his bed, writhing under him. At long last his dreams might become reality, only Chet’s heart wants more than just a few nights of steamy sex. But will the ghost of past relationships come between them? Or can Chet show the passionate Saige he’s truly the one to save her ranch and her heart?

Alright folks, I hope you enjoy and if you just can’t wait until the 24th to hear more here is the link!

Sayde

http://www.wilderroses.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=182&products_id=863

Moonday’s Heroic Hunk in History: Sir Issac Newton

Moonday’s Heroic Hunk in History is Sir Issac Newton. He is usually pictured as an older man in a long white wig getting conked on the head with an apple—you know, the gravity thing. Our Newtie, however sober in his later years, was no saint in his youth. Thanks to the Fitzwilliam Project which is part of  The Newton Project (an effort to assemble everything Newtonian and post it on the internet.) we know exactly, in his own words just how naughty Newtie was.  In 1662, he recorded his misdeeds of his 19^th year for posterity.  A list of all his sins is much too long to include here but peruse the edited list below. 

When you’ve read your fill and giggled at his misdeeds, check out the post about the Sizzlers at Champagne’s Blog . You get the story of how we met and started the Southern Sizzle Romance Blog. You’ll also gets some bio on Arabella (Wet Wednesdays) that she did NOT approve and a look at her Georgian romance Proof of Love that just made a bestseller list. Here’s the link:  http://champagnebooks.blogspot.com/

Newton’s Sins

Putting a pin in Iohn Keys hat on Thy day to pick him.

Threatning my father and mother Smith to burne them and the house over them

Wishing death and hoping it to some

Striking many

Having uncleane thoughts words and actions and dreamese.

Setting my heart on money learning pleasure more than Thee

A relapse

A relapse

Punching my sister

Robbing my mothers box of plums and sugar

Calling Derothy  Rose a jade

Falling out with the servants

Caring for worldly things more than God

Beating Arthur Storer.

Striving to cheat with a brass halfe crowne

Glutony (listed numerous times)

Next Moonday, a Gorgeous Duo and another Sizzler    Rita Bay

Badurday- January 21, 2012- The Original Bad Boys Movie

This was a fun movie when it came out and I just watched it (sort of- it was on while I was writing) on Friday, the 20th. It stars Martin Lawrence who I totally see as a bad boy. Will Smith, the other star, I see more as the guy next door. He did a good job in this film, but I liked Martin Lawrence better. Just like in Men in Black, Will was good, but Tommy Lee Jones was awesome. Martin Lawrence, I can see kicking butt and taking no prisoners. Will Smith, not so much. He always seems to play himself. At least to me, he does. Here’s the original movie trailer:

Phantasy Friday: Camouflage, Dancers and Cornish Hens . . . and Conference!

A quick reminder: It’s not too late to register for Silken Sands Writers Conference in Pensacola Beach, Florida, March 16-18. We have beaches, authors, workshops for every level of writer, editor and agent pitch appointments. (They’re here to listen to you tell them why your book is the one they want; you don’t even have to travel to New York! Take advantage of this local opportunity!) Even a costume dessert on Friday night! I can’t wait for that. It’s bound to be fun with Vampires, Historical ladies, Steampunk, Contemporary and too many others to list. Come in costume of your favorite genre or character and make it even more special. Don’t miss the book signing either. It will be open to the public.

And keep an eye out here at Southern Sizzle! Finalists for the Silken Sands Self-Published Star Contest will be highlighted here! Winners will have info and buy links on their personalized days, courtesy of the Sizzlers! Finalists announced February 15th, and winners announced at the conference! Everything you need to register can be found here: http://www.gccrwa.com/silkensands

Now on with the regular post!

I get an email every now and then from someone saying they love to read about my family. Of course they do! They don’t have to live with them! Little do they know writing about them is my personal form of therapy. *snort*

So we’ll start with the Saints loss last Saturday. The fourteen year old g-son wanted to bake Cornish hens for the game. Cornish hens? What ever happened to chips and dip? But he does an excellent job of them, so he got his way. Too bad the Saints lost. When the 49′er’s man ran the ball in for that last touchdown my living room erupted into chaos. Don’t know how I didn’t lose a ceiling fan blade; they jumped up off the couches as if hit with cattle prods. High enough to get tangled as they screamed at the runner through the television screen, shouting tackling instructions to Saints members the whole way.

When it didn’t work ball caps were thrown on the floor and stomped. I mean jumped up and down on. Repeatedly. Squinted my eyes to watch and they reminded me of little monkeys trying to put out a fire. The air turned blue from the language. Even the g-son got in on the act, and I didn’t have the heart to tell him to watch his mouth. He’d been through a traumatizing disappointment, so I put my ear filters in for about ninety seconds. Add the poor dogs going crazy from all the yelling and stomping and arm flaiing going on . . . I’m sure you get the picture. Absolute bedlam. I finally slunk off and hid in my office. Got an apology from the g-son for the cursing later, so he’s a good kid.

He’s a good kid, but is heavily into the Country Boy image at the moment. He hunts and fishes. Haunts four-wheeler trails to sling mud. Has ‘Porkchop’ embroidered on the back of his ball cap. He has camouflage for everything. I have two sets: Mossy Oak break-up for heavy woods, and Real Tree with green for hunting in pines or areas of high concentrations of evergreens. He has deer hunting camouflage — high and low country, turkey hunting camouflage and vest, bird hunting camouflage, and hog hunting camouflage. I have a headache. He called before we picked him up to ask if we were going anywhere nice where he might need a dress shirt. A nice change, I pounced on it. Told him to pack one.

My office did double duty, again. Had to hide there to stifle hysterical laughter. Tender feelings would have been bruised had I not. He’d packed –wait for it — a button-down camouflage.

He has also discovered girls. He and his Popa love motorcycles, and are hooked on a special called “Full Throttle Saloon” about a bar that opens for the ten days of the Sturgis run. I admit to liking it too. But to get to the girl-liking part. The saloon owner’s girlfriend was a professional cheerleader. When she left the NFL, she and a group of other cheerleaders formed a dance squad called “Flaunt”. I’ve always said if you’ve got it, flaunt it. They do. He’s particularly enamoured of said saloon owner’s girlfriend, Angie. I’m sure I wasn’t supposed to overhear this, but I did.

“Pop,” he declared, all testosterone filled sincerity as he watched Angie dance on stage, “if I was 32, I’d go get that.” I nearly choked. Hubby, who doesn’t miss a beat when it comes to teasing the kids, asked him, “Why 32? What’s wrong with going to get that now?” The kid stuttered, spluttered and turned beet red. It’ll probably be a while before the g-son makes man-talk with his Popa again. Yep. Good ol’ Popa. He believes in men being men. (Probably why my baby boy — son in this instance – called three days before his seventeenth birthday to tell me he was moving in with a 30 yr old stripper. In New Orleans. It was summer vacation. Tried to be philosophical about it, but I don’t know if it helped.)

G-son won’t be here this weekend, but will the following one. I can’t wait to see what he does next. Or what his Popa eggs him on with.

I’ll see y’all next Friday. Need to make sure I have a clear path to the office. In case I have to hide in there to laugh.

Good writing!

~Runere~

Visit at www.RunereMcLain.com  Friend her on Facebook: Runere McLain  Follow her on Twitter@RunereMcLain

Apple Launches IBOOK2 Digital Textbooks

IF anyone knows me, you’ll know I only use apple/mac book computers, ipad, ipod, and working on getting the iphone. Here is a new method for self publishing… Enjoy..

Apple Reinvents Textbooks with iBooks 2 for iPad New iBooks Author Lets Anyone Create Stunning iBooks Textbooks NEW YORK—January 19, 2012—Apple® today announced iBooks® 2 for iPad®, featuring iBooks textbooks, an entirely new kind of textbook that’s dynamic, engaging and truly interactive. iBooks textbooks offer iPad users gorgeous, fullscreen textbooks with interactive animations, diagrams, photos, videos, unrivaled navigation and much more. iBooks textbooks can be kept up to date, don’t weigh down a backpack and never have to be returned. Leading education services companies including Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, McGraw-Hill and Pearson will deliver educational titles on the iBookstore℠ with most priced at $14.99 or less, and with the new iBooks Author, a free authoring tool available today, anyone with a Mac® can create stunning iBooks textbooks. “Education is deep in Apple’s DNA and iPad may be our most exciting education product yet. With 1.5 million iPads already in use in education institutions, including over 1,000 one-to-one deployments, iPad is rapidly being adopted by schools across the US and around the world,” said Philip Schiller, Apple’s senior vice president of Worldwide Marketing. “Now with iBooks 2 for iPad, students have a more dynamic, engaging and truly interactive way to read and learn, using the device they already love.” The new iBooks 2 app is available today as a free download from the App Store™. With support for great new features including gorgeous, fullscreen books, interactive 3D objects, diagrams, videos and photos, the iBooks 2 app will let students learn about the solar system or the physics of a skyscraper with amazing new interactive textbooks that come to life with just a tap or swipe of the finger. With its fast, fluid navigation, easy highlighting and note-taking, searching and definitions, plus lesson reviews and study cards, the new iBooks 2 app lets students study and learn in more efficient and effective ways than ever before. iBooks Author is also available today as a free download from the Mac App Store and lets anyone with a Mac create stunning iBooks textbooks, cookbooks, history books, picture books and more, and publish them to Apple’s iBookstore. Authors and publishers of any size can start creating with Apple-designed templates that feature a wide variety of page layouts. iBooks Author lets you add your own text and images by simply dragging and dropping, and with the Multi-Touch™ widgets you can easily add interactive photo galleries, movies, Keynote® presentations and 3D objects. Apple today also announced an all-new iTunes® U app giving educators and students everything they need on their iPad, iPhone® and iPod touch® to teach and take entire courses. With the new iTunes U app, students using iPads have access to the world’s largest catalog of free educational content, along with over 20,000 education apps at their fingertips and hundreds of thousands of books in the iBookstore that can be used in their school curriculum, such as novels for English or Social Studies.* The iTunes U app is available today as a free download from the App Store. *Some content is available only for iPad. Apple designs Macs, the best personal computers in the world, along with OS X, iLife, iWork and professional software. Apple leads the digital music revolution with its iPods and iTunes online store. Apple has reinvented the mobile phone with its revolutionary iPhone and App Store, and is defining the future of mobile media and computing devices with iPad.

Blackout: Stop SOPA

New Cover!!

Hello everyone. I am posting from my phone again so hopefully everything shows up. I’ve been working on my last Built Cowgirl Tough book for awhile. Finally after months of edits, galleys, and tears Rawhide Angel is ready for release. Late last night I received all the final details as well as my gorgeous cover. My last two covers were for books with a different publisher and well, not as sexy as my covers from The Wild Rose Press. So here you all go, all the nitty gritty details as well as the cover !!



Rawhide Angel is scheduled to release 1/27/2012 for a steal at 2.99!!

http://www.wilderroses.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=182&products_id=863

Blurb:

With her father’s gambling debts about to ruin the family ranch, Saige Thomely is determined to do whatever or whomever it takes to cover the debts. Unfortunately for her, one man is a sure bet, the one cowboy she’s tried to ignore for six months. The same cowboy who makes her body and heart flame to life with each look. Saige is prepared to offer herself in exchange for the money to cover the debts, but what she’s not prepared for is losing her damaged heart to another cowboy. Night after night, for half a year, Chet Haskins has dreamed of having the blonde and sexy as sin Saige Thomely in his bed, writhing under him. At long last his dreams might become reality, only Chet’s heart wants more than just a few nights of steamy sex. But will the ghost of past relationships come between them? Or can Chet show the passionate Saige he’s truly the one to save her ranch and her heart?

Rwhid

Moonday’s Paranormal Hunks

Putting on my paranormal persona today to celebrate the return of Being Human.  Being Human came to the US for its first season last year.  The series’ second season premieres tonight. SyFy brought three paranormal beings together as roommates in a house.  Aiden is a vampire (Sam Witwer from Smallville) who is tortured (most of the time) by his taste for blood and what he must do to get it.  Josh (played by Sam Huntington), a former genial med school student, is a recently-turned werewolf who must learn to live with his new life in which he awakens naked in strange and public places. The third member of the trio is Sally (Reaghan Rath), a lonely ghost who is doomed to live in the house in which she died (or was murdered). The SyFy channel is treating fans to a Being Human marathon all day Monday. Check out the pics of the stars.

 

Discover more at:  http://www.syfy.com/beinghuman   Next week, Back to our historic hunks. RitaBay