A Wetsday Hunk Despite Everything

Every one of us has faced that question: What do you do about the guy you are addicted to when you realize that he’s just no good for you? Way back in Ro’mama’s misspent youth, between hunting the dinosaurs and keeping the cave tidy, even she had to make that decision. Oh, he was pretty, but he was brainless. I thought about keeping him around, just for decorative purposes. Stand him in the corner, keep him dusted off, maybe hang some tinsel on him for Christmas. But never, ever let him talk. Because every word out of his mouth only annoyed me and ruined the illusion that he was as good as he looked.

That is the situation we face with our Wetsday guest this week. Oh, it began great. We caught just a glimpse of him,only enough to catch our attention, make us want to know more about him.

TAPS, 1981

But from the minute we saw him dance to Old Time Rock and Roll in his tighty whities, we were sunk.

And there were good times. We loved him as a cocky fighter pilot (speaking as a Pensacola girl, I can’t get enough of a Navy pilot!)

Top Gun

Yes, it was the spring of our youth and we were giddy with getting to know him.

But at long last, we realized the truth. He was pretty, yes. But he was nuts. We couldn’t talk to him, because he really had nothing to say.

Jumping on Couches

Worse, when he did talk, he embarrassed us.

With Matt Lauer

Finally, it was just too weird and sad for the relationship to continue.

So we ended it. We said it was over. Our sanity, our dignity, our self-respect called for it. “It’s not you, it’s us,” we said. But we lied. It was him, alright. Him and his odd views on medications, him and his strange approach to his partner’s childbirth, him and just his weirdness. And we told ourselves we didn’t care.

But every so often, we catch a glimpse of him being normal, and it gives us that bittersweet longing for what might have been. So, in honor of the release of Knight and Day, The Sizzle brings you the man you hate to love, Tom Cruise.

%d bloggers like this: