The Towel is in my Hands

Lately, my world has been stressful with no end in sight. Last evening seems to be the icing on the cake. I don’t know how much more I can handle. I’m going to give it one more try, and if this doesn’t make it. If I can’t write without so many problems, I’m throwing in the towel and giving up writing. Yes I said it.
Some of you write with no effort Runere, Sayde and Arabella, and Jillian and push out words faster than they can speak them. Yes you might have problems, but you can fix them easily enough to where you all published some sort of way. I’ve been writing since the year 2000. When does it get easier, when do I learn how to fix my own errors to be able to accomplish my dreams?  That’s a long time to be trying. I on the other hand struggle with grammar and Pov.. I love to write and create stories, but maybe it’s not for me. Maybe it’s time to actually throw in the towel.
After this attempt.. and if it doesn’t work.. I’ll be leaving the group, the sizzlers, and closing down the webpage, and even the facebook and try something different. I love you all and it’s been a fun, exciting ride. I think my ride is coming to an end though, we’ll wait to see.


7 Responses

  1. I absolutely refuse to hear you say this, I do. Why? Because, hon, I wrote my first book in 1999 and I never sold it. Nope never. I wrote my second in 2000 and guess what. I never sold it either, the third in 2002. But guess what, oh yeah, you guessed it. Still unsold, though I came very close. Number 4 in 2003. I sold this one. In 2004. And then. I couldn’t finish my fifth book. I had a few minor life tragedy’s that messed with my head. I couldn’t write. I sat and I looked at the screen, a blank page of paper. I had ideas. They didn’t want to translate to the page. I gave up. I did. I had to take several steps back and evaluate my life and my “hobby” because that’s what it was at this point just a hobby.

    It took two years to get back to a point I could even think about writing. In late 2008 I told myself to spit or get off the damned pot. Do it, if your are going to do. Just sit and write a story from beginning to end. Worry about other stuff later. I did. And it took an act of stupidity on my part to get that one published. (I can’t go into that here). But I sold it. It was short and it wasn’t something I’d ever written before and I sold it. But that doesn’t mean anything. I was still struggling with who I am as a writer. I came back to RWA and GCCRWA. I needed support outside my family. Others who struggle. And I found myself, sort of. I stopped worrying about how people would perceive me if I went the course I went. I stopped comparing myself to others who are better published. We all struggle all of us in one way or another.

    I struggle with punctuation. Every manuscript. I am comma illiterate. I’ve built a network of friends who beta read for me. and add comma’s. I study the market for the best place to submit each book. I still get rejections. I report the sales. And yes I’ve sold everything I’ve written since last year but every one of those books had at least one rejections, most had like five. I have a couple hundred rejections.

    You can not give up if this is your dream. But you have to be willing to do everything necessary to get to a sparkling finished manuscript. There are so many people who will be glad to help you. Me included.

    Love ya, and just really, step back take a look at what you really want. Giving up is not the answer.


  2. Baring my teeth and growling at you! I’m on my way over with lighter fluid and matches. Say goodbye to the towel; it’s toast. Flambeed. Reduced to ash. It is no longer a viable option.

    And if you try to stop me from burning it I will push you down. On your butt, because you’ll need your hands to keep writing with. Tell Mike to tie the pillow accordingly if he doesn’t want his playground bruised!

    The only reason you’re so frustrated is because you are *THATCLOSE* to getting the job done. But you will get it done. I have faith. And if faith doesn’t work, I have a big stick.

  3. My dear friend, you have some of the best ideas ever and are quite the story-teller. I understand totally the frustration with the way the publishing industry works. I’ve been there myself as you well know. You kicked me in the butt when I needed it and you know we are all ready to help you in any way we can. Don’t give up. It would be a tragedy for the world. You have stories to share and like Runere said, you are very close to getting it done.

    Love you!!

  4. NOOOOOO!!! Couldn’t bear not to see your and Mike’s smiling faces when I can make the meetings. That’s my selfish part.
    You need to sit your ass down and write. Find someone close by who can help with the edits and SHOW you what needs to be fixed and how to fix it. I will bring you a set of reference cards that if you learn everything on them, you’ll be set. ALSO, bring something you’ve written to the July meeting and we can sit down and pour over it after the meeting while we visit.
    Each of us has our own challenges, facing them with friends makes it easier. Love you, Rita Bay.

  5. I thank you all for your kind words, and show of support. I may not be coming to the meeting next month. I just don’t know at this time. Rita, I tried books, I don’t get it. I looked over chapter 1, and seen a few but overall I just end up with a headache, and fall into more depression. POV is what I need to fix. Runere has shown me how to fix it, she’s very patient with me, but it’s like when she’s not around my brian shuts down. My mind goes blank. It makes me want to give up. More than anything it makes me feel stupid.
    The email was encouraging and not bad, but it’s the fact that I have been writing for years. Yes I have improved, but omgoodness when does it get where it’s not a total wash. It makes me hate myself, and that I must be a total idiot that I can’t comprehend what I need to learn. Yes, I’m being hard on me, but it’s not like I just started writing.
    Anyway, all I will say is I’m giving it one more try.. after I send it back and there are more errors that are horrible or excessive… I’ll just have to find another dream. There are plenty of people out there without dreams. Not sure if I could handle not having a dream. I’m at a loss.
    Today was like a mental meltdown.. I had to pull over to the side of the road in tears balling my eyes out. Everything is crashing in on me. I’m so tired, I’m going to bed.. love you girls..

  6. Hi, I just got home. Sorry I didn’t get to comment earlier on this. Writing is hard. I truly believe that before you toss in the towel that you try using a critique group. A large one. You’ll have to have tough skin, I still get really harsh crits when I post, but I found my critique partner on one and I know I’d never have gotten published without her. Having a critique partner who I can email anytime and get feedback while I’m writing something is priceless. And you will start wanting to not get those highlighted places in your manuscript so you’ll think about what you write and pick up on your bad spots to fix them before anyone has a chance to comment. But I do still struggle with getting tough skin. Having your work critiqued or reviewed is by far the worst and most exciting thing ever. Just think about the critique group before you decide anything major. And try critiquing others. It’ll help you see where things can go wrong and how to correct them in others work as well as your own. Sometimes we need to step back and look at someone elses work to appreciate our own 🙂 Never give up, never surrendor!!

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