Humor in Books

Hi all.  So it’s been a wild month!  Every May I have a group of people who come out and harvest wild flowers. Usually it only takes about ten days to get the quota of flowers and have them shipped to my buyer. This year because of the crazy weather we’ve had along with wild flower poachers (yes they are real!! Bastards!) it has taken my crew nearly a full month to get my quota. That just sucks! I’ve had no time for writing and barely enough time to keep my house clean. However I have been dabbling with my latest book and low and behold I found my sense of humor! Who knew I could be witty?

I go through spells where I enjoy reading historical romance, paranormal, and contemporaries. The one thing that I love when I’m reading is to find humor throughout. I love books that make me laugh out loud. So  decided I wanted to write a book with characters who were a total mess but still functioned in society. Kinda of. I was in a little writing hole that I couldn’t dig out of until I was reminded that writing was supposed to be fun. And I love to laugh. So I’ve been laughing while writing and I hope that you all will laugh too.

My latest work:

Charlotte jerked her arms. The sharp bite of metal around her wrists assured her that he had in no way been playing. He was really going to arrest her. Not good. Not good at all. What were the charges again? Drugging him. Well, yeah she had done that and still couldn’t figure out how he’d woken up so soon. He really should have slept for at least twelve hours. Maybe the sleeping pills were expired. She hadn’t taken them in two years but had just assumed they would still be good.

Argh, charges. What were the other charges? And how could he think after that kiss? Her brain was fried. As soon as his lips had slanted across hers all the fight and bluster she’d put up had evaporated. What was wrong with her? He was an evil bastard who’d stolen her family home and the swamp where Jean Lefitte’s treasure was sure to be buried.

“Come on Lottie.” His voice slithered over her sensitive skin.

He wasn’t a friend, lover, or family. He had no right to call her by her nickname. “Charlotte. You’re an asshole and assholes don’t get to call me by my nickname.” She ground out.

His midnight blue eyes danced in the moonlight. He was thoroughly enjoying himself. The blond tresses of hair gleamed under the soft light. It was just long enough to be that sexy run-your-hands-through length. On more than one occasion she’d caught herself admiring his strong handsome face and body while he drank his beer at her bar. Even now a part of her simmered with desire to feel his skin sliding against hers.

She bit the inside of her lip. What was wrong with her? She cringed. He was arresting her and all she could think about was sex, with him. She needed to call the Doc. Big time. They had a whole new set of issues to discuss now. It was time to but mom aside and talk about the jackass tugging her down the dock to his new black Camaro. He even had her dream car. Argh.

“So you don’t want me to call you Lottie huh? Well how about I call you `ma`diable?” His large strong hand shot out to open the passenger door. The other turned her to face him before he pressed a hand to her head forcing her down into the car.

“I’m not the devil and I’m sure as hell not your anything.” She swung her legs into the car to keep him from shutting her legs into the door.

She wished her voice was stronger. Yet the thought of her being his in anyway melted her insides to jelly.

With a smirk playing across his face he leaned down filling her space with his overwhelming presence. The aroma of gun powder mixed with his Irish Springs body wash. Charlotte snapped her eyes closed to avoid staring into the deep blue irises searching hers. His body heat disappeared. She blinked open one eye. The door slammed. His muscled body darted out to the swamp edge. He reached down, lifted the small leather book in one hand and smiled. In three quick strides he was back at the car. The tight black tee shirt hugged his body, giving her a delicious view of his thick corded chest. Both eyes focused solely on the way his body moved gracefully but powerful. Warmth rolled through her. She shook her head. For God’s sake, the bastard was arresting her and she was checking him out? Who had been the one to get drugged?

“Whatever you say minx.” He winked, slamming the key into the ignition and turning it over.

The car roared to live. The house was only ten minutes away from the small city jail. She really hoped he took her to city lockup and not county. She really didn’t want to spend the night in lockup in New Orleans during Mardi Gras.

“You do know you never finished reading me my rights.” Finally her brain was firing again. He couldn’t make an arrest stick with her rights violated. Ha ha! Take that Mr. Asshole.

A deep rumbling growl filled the space between them. The tone sent shivers over her flesh. The hair on her neck rose. Each spiked hair sent ripples of unease through her. Unexpected fear mingled with lust. His voice had barely been audible. The tone so animalistic that she was sure a wild animal had stowed away in the car. She met his gaze. Panic ripped through her. His eyes. No longer did moonlight just dance in them they radiated so blue that they glowed a blistering neon blue. She jerked her body to the side. The seatbelt held to the seat. If she could just reach the door handle with her hands she had a chance to struggle out of the seatbelt. Then maybe she would be able to get the hell away from him.

“Don’t even think about it. Who would believe that I didn’t finish those rights? And anyway, how would you know, as I recall you were too busy swirling that delicious tongue of yours around in my mouth.”

Her eyes snapped back to meet his. Midnight blue again. Damn what was happening to her? Doc was going to have a hell of a time wading through this load of crap. Now she was hallucinating. Not good. Not good at all.

“What’s wrong `ma`diable? No come back?” His challenging tone teased her like a tourist teasing the alligators. Payback would come swift and viscous.

If fire could blaze from her irises she’d have set him ablaze. But since she didn’t have superhuman strength or fire eyes she sat silent. She would not play his game anymore. She had the right to remain silent and for once in her life she’d have the ability.

“Well hell has frozen over. You’ve gone mute. Thank god.”

Okay so the ability to remain silent was starting to slip away. No one could infuriate her the way Donavan Warren could. Ever since she came back to town six months ago to run her grandfathers bar and grill Donavan had been tormenting her. Every day he showed up for lunch and dinner. Every day he sat at the bar, silent yet his presence was always larger than life.

Thanks all! hope you had a good laugh. I will post funnier parts next week.

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3 Responses

  1. I always knew you had wit in you!!! Very nicely done!! love it

  2. Glad to see you gave in to the urge to try something different . . . because it works!

    Thanks for sharing, Sayde. It was fun!

  3. I loved it!!! Great writing..

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