Love . . .


It’s perennial. Unconquerable. It’s hope. As the single common denominator of every people, every culture, it’s the oldest emotion known to man.  Yet like the Phoenix it arises fresh and new; unique to each new couple experiencing it.

I have a good friend who is literally a rocket scientist. He’s a rarity because he’s the exception to an old unwritten rule. You know the one. People of extremely high intelligence are usually lacking in common sense.

Rick has a surplus of both, and he and his wife Terri have to be two of my favorite people in the whole world.

Rick writes science fiction, and in a way that leaves me wondering if it’s really fiction at all–or someone very perceptive describing what’s to come. But Rick has a bedrock belief in love. He’s quiet spoken, and if you don’t listen closely, sometimes you miss some real gems of wisdom. I’m going to try to share one with you; a basic concept so undeniable it struck at the core of me.

As romance writers we constantly find imaginative ways to present an old formula: Boy Meets Girl. We follow that up with Boy and Girl Fall In Love. But before that love can be acted on there are challenges and situations to overcome before Boy Gets Girl. Then we arrive at our HEA. Happy Ever After.

I was bubbling about the exciting new way I’d found to get my Boy and Girl together, a veritable verbal synopsis that Rick patiently listened to. I described in detail how much my couple had to overcome to be together, how they rose to the challenge and claimed their Happy Ever After.

Rick didn’t say a lot, just smiled that little smile of his. He agreed it sounded great, but told me to remember it was fiction. I must have looked as confused as I felt, because he went further. He said romance writers present a beginning concept, but forget one undeniable fact.

Writing about how Boy Meets Girl, Boy and Girl Fall In Love, and Boy Gets Girl is well and good. But there’s something else that happens.

Boy Loses Girl.

Or Girl Loses Boy.

Inevitably it’s going to happen.There’s no way around it. It can happen at the end of a single high school summer. Or the close of fifty shared years.

The glaring truth of that simple statement scared the crap out of me. Started me thinking. Started me remembering how my hirsute hubby, a red-head with enough chest hair that I could probably knit kittens if I wanted, glows with this beautiful golden aura in the sun when he goes shirtless. No mere halo for him. It isn’t grand enough. That golden glow has gone more crystal-silver with the years, and I hadn’t even noticed it. But that change is as undeniable as Rick’s truth. And though I don’t want to admit it, it makes me feel just that little bit afraid at times now.

Boy Loses Girl or Girl Loses Boy. Always. I’d never considered it quite that way before. Rick says we all need to concentrate a little more on the time after Boy Gets Girl. That’s were the warmth and strength of a relationship lie. Where the true magic is.

I’ll always write romance. I can’t help it. I love the concept and the joy. But in my personal life I’m taking it that step further. I’m going to indulge in After Boy Gets Girl. Absolutely wallow in it. The truth in Rick’s softly spoken bit of wisdom has me practicing that advice with zealous fervor. I want to pack in every look, touch, kiss, hug, sigh, tear, laugh, shared experience and giggling whisper.

You know what? For a rocket scientist, Rick’s a pretty sharp old boy.

10 Responses

  1. Hey Runere, I’ve never been tempted to edit any of the other Sizzlers work, but today it was close and RIck is not so sharp or doesn’t know you and Steve well. If ever two people were meant to be together, it’s y’all. I’ll take a picture of Steve when you don’t know he’s looking at you, and you would edit this yourself. It’s love, girl, and it’s not going away. You are so lucky. The two of you not together would create a paradigm shift for me, so don’ even think about it. Y’all are one couple where the two of you together is more than each of you apart. So there, I’m off my pedestal and back to NaNo, RitaVF

    • Think I probably should have mentioned Rick picking up Terri’s hand and playing with her fingers when he talked of relationships ending. Forming that connection with her. Saying what he did seemed more an admonition to cherish love while you have it. While it’s infinite on one level, none of us can get past the physical limitations. No matter how much we wish we could.

      The only ‘cure’ for that is to live it to the fullest and dispose of the petty stuff– and I’m lucky because I have the best partner in the entire Universe. I truly believe he’s my gift from the Creator.

  2. Wow…your Rick is brilliant! Keeping this in mind, a romance writer could so easily delve deeper into the psyche of their characters.

    And you’re very lucky to have met and shared your life with your own real life hero. You speak of your husband with humor, but I can read between the lines to the depth of love you have for each other. That’s so special.

    • Yep, he’s my spider squishing, teasing until I laugh when I get aggravated, wade thigh deep in a water-filled ditch to grab a puppy (he might have grumbled but don’t let him fool you. He talked to the critter the whole time he wielded the blow dryer until they decided between them on a name), jump between me and who I want to punch hero. In reality I don’t know how he puts up with me! lol

      Just hope I show him how much I appreciate him!

  3. This is a great post – it really made me think. Thanks! 🙂

  4. Rick is awesome, and Teri amazing. I know what he means though. Growing up I was in love, went against my parents wishes and all. I lived a nightmare. He didnt’ love me he just wanted me because my parents were against him, but I do have my children whom I love. Girl loses boy… but then I fell in love and I was scared but it was so overpowering, and he’s my soul mate. I sit back sometimes and wonder how did I get so lucky. I try not to take things for granted with him, but he’s my soul mate. Without him, there is no me.

  5. Feeling you, Sister! My first one sucked to the nth degree– but if I hadn’t been through that, I doubt I would have recognized what was true and wonderful when he stood in front of me. He’d been through hell himself.

    Rita’s right. Steve and I together are something stronger than we could ever be separately. Because we both know how we never want it to be again.

  6. I read Rick’s view from Runere’s post as being that eventually, there will be loss. The loss by death. Even if you have a HEA And believe in heaven, unless you both die together, there will be a period of loss. In almost every couple, one is left alone after the the death of the other. That’s the inevitability I saw in his words.

    On the other hand, I may be full of crap! LOL!

    • You are NEVER full of crap! lol Think his meaning was we should never take love for granted. To squeeze every particle possible from it for as long as we’re blessed by it! Because, really, we never know how long it will last.

      But in any instance, love is real.

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