Wetsday Says Good Riddance to A Former Favorite

Oh, Mel, why’d you have to turn out to be batsh*t crazy? I have been absolutely nuts about you ever since Gallipoli. It was one of the worst dates of my young life, way back in 1981, but while ignoring the person my friend (?) thought I should go out with, I discovered you. Had to go back and watch Mad Max, even though post-apocalyptic negative utopias are not generally my cuppa tea. But it was lurrve!
Every movie you made, I was there opening week. And, Mel, we had some good times. The Lethal Weapons, The Bounty, Air America, Bird On A Wire. How utterly gorgeous you were, you Australian devil, you.
And then, starting with Braveheart, you weren’t just pretty. You were really creative. You started branching out into producing and directing. Now, some of your ideas were getting into the kinda crazy, like everybody in a film speaking Mayan or Ancient Aramaic. But it was kinda cool crazy.
And you made The Patriot, the movie which will stand forever as the meeting of three of the best looking actors in film history. Dang, you, Jason Isaacs, and that young pup Heath Ledger, all together. Just about made my head explode.
And it was wonderful, knowing that you were a person of faith, happily married to the woman who was with you before you made it big. Obviously, you weren’t just a pretty face.
But you know what, Mel? You aren’t even pretty anymore. That picture of you after the DUI arrest? Ok, it wasn’t as bad as Nick Nolte’s, but it was close. And then the rants about various ethnic groups, and the leaving Robyn for some Russian stick insect with big hair. I stopped admitting how many of your movies I had on my video shelf. You were a guilty pleasure I couldn’t admit I still craved.
But you have stepped over the line. This is the end. There are just some things we as women cannot tolerate. No, I was Team Robyn all the way, but that doesn’t mean you can treat Oksana like that.
So today’s gentlemen are a salute to those fine actors who have appeared as your enemies. From now on, I am cheering for the English during Braveheart and The Patriot. I am gonna hope for an alternate ending where Murtaugh gets fed up and shoots Riggs. (BTW, why don’t you share some of your interesting views with Danny Glover? I’m sure he’d understand). I hope Captain Bligh throws you overboard.
So here they are, my new favorites, the Anti-Gibson League:

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8 Responses

  1. Good for you, Romama. Sometimes folks just go too far–and this is one of them. Shame on Mel. Even though the tapes were probably a set-up by a home-wrecker to get more than the $20 mil he offered, you just don’t talk like that to anyone. Maybe he has a substance abuse problem-then fix it. But I’m with you, he’s off my list of must sees. Rita VF

  2. He did go crazy…which is a shame because he was one of my favorite actors *sigh* Good for you, Ro’mama! Tell him like it is!

  3. Doubtful even rehab and medication can fix what ails Mel. Think it runs so much deeper. Really hate it, because for the longest time I thought he’d escaped the typical successful actor’s downfall– believing all the PR hype the studios put out on him.

    Guess all we’re left with is looking at you like an old love. Almost. The difference is it sure is hard remembering the “good” times when you’ve gone so bad.

    Called it what it is, Ro’mama. Can’t go wrong with that!

  4. Bird on a Wire was one movie that my mom and I watched all the time. She adored that man. Now me I liked the Lethal Weapons but kinda scared now of how close he was to other people with weapons! WOW you know those actors and all are wiping the sweat off their foreheads now!

  5. By the way, was this a date with the gay guy or the one that wore weird clothes. Or wait, was that the same dude?

    Agreed about Mel- as you know, I threw him out of my hot tub YEARS ago! I tried to tell you to boot his rear and you kept him in. Welcome to my club!

    • Dang! You know waaay too much about my misspent youth! They were different — they gay guy was a frat boy, the weird clothes guy was a drama major. This was yet a third weirdo, from my long line of weirdos I dated. Surprising that I found someone as normal as the DH, huh?
      Mel did look good sitting in the virtual hot tub, but now I’m scared of him!

  6. Wow, what a post. I also was a fan, but no longer. I just don’t get it. He had everything….in today’s acter’s world there are so many to take your place…so consider yourself replaced!!!!

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