Wetsday Paranormal Smackdown

In honor of the upcoming premiere of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II, the DDs and I have been re-watching the entire series. Now, they are truly great movies, and if you haven’t started at the beginning and watched all of them, I strongly urge you to do so,

But in watching HP4: The Goblet of Fire, I realized something very important: Rob Pattinson was much hotter as a living wizard than as a vampire. Check out this picture of R-Pattz as Cedrick Diggory, the Great Hufflepuff Hope.

And thinking about R-Pattz got me into a conversation about the Twilight Series with some of my peeps Saturday, as we were driving home from the Gulf Coast RWA meeting. Now, let me preface this by saying that I, unlike many of you, really like the Stephenie Meyer books. Yes, her prose is a bright shade of purple, and she never met an adverb she didn’t like. But the people who sneer at her writing (I’m looking at you, Stephen King!) have to admit that she created characters who hit a serious nerve in the (mostly female) reading population. God knows, I’d give my eyeteeth to create a character people care about the way they love Edward and Bella.

But I have a fundamental problem with Twilight, one that didn’t really become clear until the fourth book. So if you are one of the ten or twelve people I know who haven’t read the books, SPOILER ALERT!!!!!

See, vampires, whether they sparkle or not, whether they drink animal or human blood, even if they have artfully tousled hair and a cool car, are dead. D-E-A-D. As in, not alive. At the end of the day, what you have in Twilight is a bunch of dead teenagers. Not exactly romantic, when you think about it.

And if Bella decides to go for a living guy instead, what’s her option? Well, the leading contender is a werewolf. Yes, a guy who unexpectedly gets all furry and feral. And you thought your prom date had issues!

So, in my humble opinion, the whole Twilight series comes down to this elevator pitch: A teenage girl faces the eternal dilemma — necrophilia or bestiality?

Seriously, can’t you just imagine the response that kind of pitch would get?

Now, I will tell you that, when I read the books, I was Team Edward all the way. Remember that Ms. Meyer used a picture of dear Henry Cavill (of The Tudors) as her inspiration for him, so what’s not to like? But in the movies, as striking as R-Pattz is, I think he was totally Eclipsed (pardon the pun) by Taylor Lautner as Jacob.

So here, today on the Sizzle, we have your chance to weigh in on the controversy.

Necrophilia?

Bestiality?

What’s your choice?
Rob Pattinson or Taylor Lautner?
And why?

How Could I Have Missed This Wetsday Guest?

Do you ever have those face-palm, how-could-I-have-forgotten-this type moments? Nah, I’m sure all of you are on top of things and totally organized. But around my house, “OMG, I overlooked something basic” is a way of life.
And kids, I have to say, I have overlooked something so obvious, so basic to all we as Sizzlers hold dear, that I must hang my head in shame. I do not deserve the title of romance enthusiast. I humbly beg y’all’s pardon.
Somehow, over the past year-plus, I have forgotten to ever issue a Wetsday invitation to one of the true, all-time greats of the period costume drama, who not only fills out his Tudor-era codpiece exceptionally well, but looks darn good stripped down and lolling about in the water.

We first met today’s guest in one of the truly yummy historical movies, the fabulous Count of Monte Cristo. Though a mere lad, our hero more than held his own whilst sharing the screen with the exceptionally delicious Jim Cavieziel and Guy Pearce. After that, you may have seen him playing Brandon in that well-known eye-candy series, The Tudors. And yes, our boy can work a pair of tights just as well as Jonathan Rhys-Meyers.

I was surprised to learn that today’s gentleman was considered the front-runner for the Cedric Diggory role in Harry Potter, ironically losing out in the final stretch to one Rob Pattinson. Why ironic? Because the legend is that Stephenie Meyer had a picture of our guest on her wall while she wrote the Twilight Saga, and she has called him her “Perfect Edward.” Unfortunately, the cinema powers-that-be decided he was too old for the movie. Had he, rather than RPattz, been cast as the glittery vampire, they wouldn’t have needed to airbrush his abs! He’d have been a lot more successful fighting off the comparisons to Jacob Black, too!

Anyway, this week I was hanging out on twitter with some of my Regency peeps, and Vicki Dreiling mentioned that today’s guest was the inspiration for the hero in her recent book, How to Marry a Duke (which is absolutely fabulicious, and all of you should read it, btw.) Sudden revelation! I had never brought you the scrumptious Henry Cavill for Wetsday! How could I have been so remiss?

So with apologies, I will just point out that good things come to those who wait — and your wait is over. Here’s Henry!